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Showing posts from August 20, 2017

Dreams 2

Well, I managed to get some sleep after an hour only to continue my weird dreams! 
I was with a friend,   surrounded by his lovely family ( including his mum that passed away)  and they lived in this....  Parking lot ( a huge one like an airport one) !  Lol I went to have a shower in the northern part of the car park and when I came out of the shower looking for my friend. His mum showed me where he was,  I the southern part so I followed my friend when suddenly I saw a gigantic airplane crushing where he was.  My friend was OK he was in mY bed under my duvet and asked me to spoon him and we both fell asleep. When I 'woke up' I was next to my car and noticed that the road was paved around my car. Then A detective came to take my car as I was suspected of killing a guy..  So I was taken to the crime scene and shown this decapitated. His body looked so weird! Somehow the decapitated guy was telling me that he thought the men who run him over were his friends but that the barbe…

Dreams... Do they come true?

Lately I keep having random police encounters,  nothing major but I never dealt with them before so it was a of a scary for me when in Spain they stopped our car and almost fined us ( luckily I am charming!) A few days later was held by the police as I had no ID until my friend came to the rescue with my passport ( and this was before the attack in Barcelona).  Then I returned home only to whiteness police in action in front of my house,  then at the train station a guy sat next to me and the police came to 'pick' him up....
Now back to my dream...  I was having a normal dream having dinner as you would in a dream...  In a flat first then on a hill,  then on a bridge...  With a few people and two of them were policemen...  All of the sudden we're in my bedroom,  on my bed chatting ( not what you think!)  And a friend noticed noises outside my window... Two of my friends get near the window and so am I and we can see some weird cars turning and then two heavily armed guys …

The greatest love

I was born to fly like a bird, roar like a lioness, love like sinner. Made to be wild and free. I lost myself for a second but when you are as wild as I am and suddenly become captive in a silly trap it hurts a little, all you seem to be able to do is lick your wounds and bruised ego.

For a while I thought that this is the way love is supposed to be and let myself cry. I looked outside my cage and the sky was still blue and the birds were still singing and it made me feel like I was missing something amazing...I was missing me! I had the choice of becoming your slave forever and dream of what we might have had and cry as you show so little respect but then again that's your cross to carry not mine! Karma is a bitch and I let her do her job! I have mine to do!

I stood up shaking and shivering uncontrollably realizing just how sick my body and soul were. As I got up, holing onto my cage bars I made the sacred vow of never ever allowing anyone to get me into this state, not even my…

It is not over yet

As long as my heart keeps beating in my chest my hope will not die, not my few memories of you. When I wish to move on is like I am walking through muddy waters and the water up to my chest. Limited in all my moves, fearful that I get stuck and feeling like everything is in slow motion except my pain. You cannot fall on your knees when you're in water up to your chest as you can drown, I have been there before and even if sometimes it might sounds tempting, so tempting I cannot and must no allow myself to see that path as an option. I cannot stand my ground while here, I am tiptoeing free from all the weight of the world, my movement is impaired but it gives me this fake sense of freedom. I am not free, you left me in limbo and I know in my heart that this is not over, far from it, I lose myself so easily every second when you're not here. I am drifting to deeper darker waters not sure if I am looking for you or a way to escape.

My pain comes in waves, when I think the storm …