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Echoes

Maybe coming here was not such a good idea afterall.  Perhaps I should have think things through.  I fell trapped under an avalanche of thoughts and emotions.  Like a broken record I repeat to myself ' you don't belong here' voicing out all those thoughts will not stop my hands from shaking or others thinking it. 
I could have conquered the word but I choose not to,  call it fear,  call it laziness,  call it misfortune or as your wish but the end result is the same. I stopped and now I fell inappropriate. 
The real question is if I am ready to feel inappropriate  or if I should go back.

The distant echos are coming back ' You don't belong here'.

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Crave

The space between the worlds where I can find myself without looking in the water reflection and getting a glimpse of what I once was and what I long to be.

There are no thoughts just the silence of my own soul.My armour is abandoned at the door I am free of darkness. I shred layer after layer until I walk naked and the ground shivers beneath my feet, the sun kisses all my imperfections and the wind calls my name. I will no longer hide behind the vail of lies. I raise my arms to the sky and I know I am where I belong. If this place would actually exist and have a name I could probably call it 'home'

Here, I allow myself to be. I can be simple, can be nobody and nobody's. I am nobody's child, nobody's lover, nobody's mother.

No longer the exhausted body that strives to look beautiful and thin to please those who can only see.
No longer the smile that shows up every time insecurities surface to impress those who judge.
No longer the laughter that hides a cry to …

Intamplari cu final neasteptat

Am putine prietene cel putin de la o vreme iar azi am avut senzatia ca prietenia mea este pusa la incercare.
Intrand in sala de mese nu am putut sa nu observ cu coada ochilui doua din prietenele mele susotind in spatele mele. Nu am fost deranjata de susoteala in site pe cat am fost deranjata de faptul ca in sala de mese nu ne aflam decat noi trei si credeam ca suntem prietene cu toate .
Am asteptat pasnica pana cand susoteala a luat sfarsit, una din fete parasind sala de mese.
Nell, s-a asezat in fata mea zambind :
- Jo (lumea aici nu stie de Ioana, cu Jo) maine la ce ora ne intalnim?
I-am ignorat intrebare in timp de rasfoiam absenta o revista stupida a carui nume nici macar nu m-am obisit sa il citesc.
-Cine mai vine? M-a intrebat Nell vesela, fara sa fi observat faptul ca o ignor.
Mi-am ridicat privirea si i-am zabit :
-Nell, te consideri prietena mea? Am intrebat-o pe un ton ce-l doream calm
Nell ma privi speriata fata a intelege ce se intampla
-Ce inreba....
-Da sau nu, Nell i-am…