luni, 31 iulie 2017

My heart knows

I always struggled to find a common ground between my heart and mind, it seems like they're continually disagree. My heart wants to love and feel love does not care much about repercussions, she wants to live here and now! My heart seeks experiences and wants to live then fully knowing that I am truly eternal! I was never truly born and will never die! There's no beginning or end in my heart, There is now and there is feelings that I want to feel to the core. My heart wants to experiment every inch of this life and it does not matter what the consequences are. She shouts from the top to the highest mountain: 'I want love! I want to love and be loved! I want to let down and be let down! I want to hate and be hated. I want to laugh and cry ! Who cares if I get hurt!? It's all about the experience.

My mind, my wise mind acts like an old policeman who wants to protect me from everything that my heart desires. He comes to be as an over cautions friend and looks at me suspicious, as I was suffering of some kind of temporary madness. He thinks I was just born and if I am not careful I will die too soon so he's here to protect me. He has his best interest at heart, funny right?  He does not understand feelings, he thinks that feelings are a luxury and no one should afford. Felling are asking me to close all the doors and put locks, no one is to be let in and nothing is to be let out. I should focus on my jobs, I should eat healthier and sleep way more! And he advises me : ' let feelings go otherwise it will break your heart and kill me!' Let's forget about all this funny business he advises.

I am split in two and you're in the middle of my torment. I listened to my heart but my mind was right.

My heart wants to hold on and my mind wants to let go.

It's past midnight and my heart calls your name over and over again. My mind sits in the corner with a smug smile on his face making shout out all the wrong names. Do you think that if I were to remember your name you would come back?