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I always know when it's time to let go but I sometimes want to believe others and decided to trust their poor words instead of myself. There is a great price to pay when you fail to listen and it was great settling the bill and even greater to be up to date with my debts. No regrets my darling, just gratitude.

I have learned my darling a great deal from my mistakes. I now know that not everyone is ready to love or be loved. Love is a scary thing when you don't know who you truly are or what your purpose is but mainly when you don't love yourself. The emptiness you feel inside that you desperately try to fill with alcohol or work will never get filled. Worry not, most people are the same and maybe one day you will have the courage to confront your fears and give yourself a chance. You truly deserve it!

Two and a half kiss later I am still where I was when I first meet you. Total darkness. Were you real or was it just my overactive imagination. The door to your heart was always closed and so were the other doors. I got a glimpse of your soul...and you were amazing, don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise. You have a beautiful soul and resonate to mine at so many levels that I find it hard to explain in words. I feel you...and I see you. You and only you. Even if you are not ready to accept a lot of things you free to run as far as you like but we both know that you will never be able to hide from me. You can pretend I don't exist but I know what you truly feel. Run and do your thing, avoid feelings for as much as you like. Lie to yourself for as long as you need, it's ok.

I will be right here, picking up cobwebs from the corners of my soul. I will be signing and dancing in the moonlight. I will die and be born again. I will love and be loved.

When you get tired of playing games come back to me, I might be still young.

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You and I

Here we are again! I hoped you got lost in the nothingness of all the days that have passed since we last stood face to face, separated by darkness only. I can feel your breath on my neck and in my mind I am begging you again to let me go.

I feel your shadow surrounding me, your musty scent poisons the air around me.  Like a bad sin, you never stay away for too long. You call it 'love', I call it 'curse'. You think that all this is a game and I enjoy your company. Maybe you're just as confused as I am and mistake my tears for rain and my scream for help with a lullaby.   A deep breath before I turn to face you, your poisons scent inundates every cell in my lungs . I curse the moment I was born and wish I could run to the end of the world and hide in a cage for the rest of my miserable life.

I can see your sharp teeth shining in the candle light while you laugh in my face. Your unkind touch  makes me tremble beyond control. I am stretching my arm in the dark in a clu…


Nothing touches my soul like the sound of piano. The sound of flaps tickles a string deeply buried and makes me want to come alive. I suddenly wake up as if after centuries of hibernation and re-live all that I missed, like a fast forward. I laugh a little, I cry a little and then shake it off and start dancing to the rhythm of this amazing piano.

Wish I was a ballerina so I can do the music justice and make you notice me flowig with the music but I am what I am and I close my eyes dreaming of what I could have been, should have been and will be... I will never be a ballerina nor what you wished me to be and I cannot seem to be able to forgive myself for that. I look into your eyes hoping for reassurance but I cannot find myself. I am shouting so loud hoping to get your attention but it is too late, I have faded like a light in the dusk.

I wish I could get all the answers from you but I have no idea what my questions were. I wish I could touch your heart to make it better and whole …