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Silence

All the confessions remained unsaid, all the questions remained unasked, all the answers remained untold, all the feelings that remained unspoken of... All these conversations we never had my love, where have they gone? Did they took their tool on you?
In you absence, I have created - with my magic wand- your clone in my heart and tried to fill the gap with imaginary wonderful conversations. I am old enough to know better by now than to delude myself on empty scenarios but I guess it was just my loneliness talking. Therefore I decided to be lonely no more.

The big words that I never got to tell you, will they keep you warm at night? When silence falls between us I feel left behind deserted, empty and lonely ...All my life I had no choice but to be strong and brave but sometimes might have lost myself on the dark roads but I am here now. The only think I ask of you is not to break my heart. I rather know the the truth, if there's still one in your heart than this soul killing silence.

Don't let your silence do the talking, I said a while ago and you smiled at me surrounding me with more silence.

Most of those important people in my life were in my life either because I had to learn something from them or because they had to learn something from me. At first I smiled and labeled you as ' learner' now I smile and add '/Teacher'


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Am putine prietene cel putin de la o vreme iar azi am avut senzatia ca prietenia mea este pusa la incercare.
Intrand in sala de mese nu am putut sa nu observ cu coada ochilui doua din prietenele mele susotind in spatele mele. Nu am fost deranjata de susoteala in site pe cat am fost deranjata de faptul ca in sala de mese nu ne aflam decat noi trei si credeam ca suntem prietene cu toate .
Am asteptat pasnica pana cand susoteala a luat sfarsit, una din fete parasind sala de mese.
Nell, s-a asezat in fata mea zambind :
- Jo (lumea aici nu stie de Ioana, cu Jo) maine la ce ora ne intalnim?
I-am ignorat intrebare in timp de rasfoiam absenta o revista stupida a carui nume nici macar nu m-am obisit sa il citesc.
-Cine mai vine? M-a intrebat Nell vesela, fara sa fi observat faptul ca o ignor.
Mi-am ridicat privirea si i-am zabit :
-Nell, te consideri prietena mea? Am intrebat-o pe un ton ce-l doream calm
Nell ma privi speriata fata a intelege ce se intampla
-Ce inreba....
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Crave

The space between the worlds where I can find myself without looking in the water reflection and getting a glimpse of what I once was and what I long to be.

There are no thoughts just the silence of my own soul.My armour is abandoned at the door I am free of darkness. I shred layer after layer until I walk naked and the ground shivers beneath my feet, the sun kisses all my imperfections and the wind calls my name. I will no longer hide behind the vail of lies. I raise my arms to the sky and I know I am where I belong. If this place would actually exist and have a name I could probably call it 'home'

Here, I allow myself to be. I can be simple, can be nobody and nobody's. I am nobody's child, nobody's lover, nobody's mother.

No longer the exhausted body that strives to look beautiful and thin to please those who can only see.
No longer the smile that shows up every time insecurities surface to impress those who judge.
No longer the laughter that hides a cry to …