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All the confessions remained unsaid, all the questions remained unasked, all the answers remained untold, all the feelings that remained unspoken of... All these conversations we never had my love, where have they gone? Did they took their tool on you?
In you absence, I have created - with my magic wand- your clone in my heart and tried to fill the gap with imaginary wonderful conversations. I am old enough to know better by now than to delude myself on empty scenarios but I guess it was just my loneliness talking. Therefore I decided to be lonely no more.

The big words that I never got to tell you, will they keep you warm at night? When silence falls between us I feel left behind deserted, empty and lonely ...All my life I had no choice but to be strong and brave but sometimes might have lost myself on the dark roads but I am here now. The only think I ask of you is not to break my heart. I rather know the the truth, if there's still one in your heart than this soul killing silence.

Don't let your silence do the talking, I said a while ago and you smiled at me surrounding me with more silence.

Most of those important people in my life were in my life either because I had to learn something from them or because they had to learn something from me. At first I smiled and labeled you as ' learner' now I smile and add '/Teacher'

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Here we are again! I hoped you got lost in the nothingness of all the days that have passed since we last stood face to face, separated by darkness only. I can feel your breath on my neck and in my mind I am begging you again to let me go.

I feel your shadow surrounding me, your musty scent poisons the air around me.  Like a bad sin, you never stay away for too long. You call it 'love', I call it 'curse'. You think that all this is a game and I enjoy your company. Maybe you're just as confused as I am and mistake my tears for rain and my scream for help with a lullaby.   A deep breath before I turn to face you, your poisons scent inundates every cell in my lungs . I curse the moment I was born and wish I could run to the end of the world and hide in a cage for the rest of my miserable life.

I can see your sharp teeth shining in the candle light while you laugh in my face. Your unkind touch  makes me tremble beyond control. I am stretching my arm in the dark in a clu…


Nothing touches my soul like the sound of piano. The sound of flaps tickles a string deeply buried and makes me want to come alive. I suddenly wake up as if after centuries of hibernation and re-live all that I missed, like a fast forward. I laugh a little, I cry a little and then shake it off and start dancing to the rhythm of this amazing piano.

Wish I was a ballerina so I can do the music justice and make you notice me flowig with the music but I am what I am and I close my eyes dreaming of what I could have been, should have been and will be... I will never be a ballerina nor what you wished me to be and I cannot seem to be able to forgive myself for that. I look into your eyes hoping for reassurance but I cannot find myself. I am shouting so loud hoping to get your attention but it is too late, I have faded like a light in the dusk.

I wish I could get all the answers from you but I have no idea what my questions were. I wish I could touch your heart to make it better and whole …