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Crave

The space between the worlds where I can find myself without looking in the water reflection and getting a glimpse of what I once was and what I long to be.

There are no thoughts just the silence of my own soul.My armour is abandoned at the door I am free of darkness. I shred layer after layer until I walk naked and the ground shivers beneath my feet, the sun kisses all my imperfections and the wind calls my name. I will no longer hide behind the vail of lies. I raise my arms to the sky and I know I am where I belong. If this place would actually exist and have a name I could probably call it 'home'

Here, I allow myself to be. I can be simple, can be nobody and nobody's. I am nobody's child, nobody's lover, nobody's mother.

No longer the exhausted body that strives to look beautiful and thin to please those who can only see.
No longer the smile that shows up every time insecurities surface to impress those who judge.
No longer the laughter that hides a cry to …

Piano

Nothing touches my soul like the sound of piano. The sound of flaps tickles a string deeply buried and makes me want to come alive. I suddenly wake up as if after centuries of hibernation and re-live all that I missed, like a fast forward. I laugh a little, I cry a little and then shake it off and start dancing to the rhythm of this amazing piano.

Wish I was a ballerina so I can do the music justice and make you notice me flowig with the music but I am what I am and I close my eyes dreaming of what I could have been, should have been and will be... I will never be a ballerina nor what you wished me to be and I cannot seem to be able to forgive myself for that. I look into your eyes hoping for reassurance but I cannot find myself. I am shouting so loud hoping to get your attention but it is too late, I have faded like a light in the dusk.

I wish I could get all the answers from you but I have no idea what my questions were. I wish I could touch your heart to make it better and whole …

Games

I always know when it's time to let go but I sometimes want to believe others and decided to trust their poor words instead of myself. There is a great price to pay when you fail to listen and it was great settling the bill and even greater to be up to date with my debts. No regrets my darling, just gratitude.

I have learned my darling a great deal from my mistakes. I now know that not everyone is ready to love or be loved. Love is a scary thing when you don't know who you truly are or what your purpose is but mainly when you don't love yourself. The emptiness you feel inside that you desperately try to fill with alcohol or work will never get filled. Worry not, most people are the same and maybe one day you will have the courage to confront your fears and give yourself a chance. You truly deserve it!

Two and a half kiss later I am still where I was when I first meet you. Total darkness. Were you real or was it just my overactive imagination. The door to your heart was alw…