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Emotie de Toamna

E dimineata iar, cu iarna batand grabita la geamurile aburite. Ma tem ca am sa mai pierd o toamna fara sa apuc a-i sorbi culoarea, tristetea si mai ales iubirea. Sorb din cafeaua fierbine si ma cufund in visare. Iubesc toamna mai mult decat orice anotimp, totul este posibil si de-o potriva imposisbil . Toamna ma trezesc la realitate in timp de visez, admir acest anotimp sublim in timp ce ma si inspaimanta gandul iernii. Toamna ma va intrista mereu in timp ce culorile ei imi vor managa simturile si imi vor face sufletul sa rada.

Toamna va fi mereu anotimpul despartirilor. Cand o iubire ca-n povesti moare, se va numi mereu toamna. E ceva mult prea dramatic in modul absurd al copacilor de a se desparti de frunze, tocmai acum cand au cel mai mult nevoie de ele. Se pare ca nu le mai pasa niciunuia, nu e loc de conciliere. Copacul prefera sa infrunte cumplita iarna timp ce frunzele prefera sa moara decat sa mai fie implicate in aceasta dureroasa relatie, chiar daca ele nu stiu precis ce se va intampla isi asuma riscul. Copacul ramane la fel, mereu acolo, mereu asteptand alte frunze , murmurand ironic 'Putei pleca, o sa vine altele!' Frunzele isi vad de rostul lor iar printre lacrimi soptesc ' prefer sa mor decat sa mai stau o clipa aici' Apoi dorintele lor devin realitate...Asa se sfarseste o mare iubire... El ramane mereu acolo asteptand distant o noua sansa. Ea moare, pentru ca nu poate altfel...nimic nu va mai fi la fel. la mormatul iubirii lor va canta mere ploaia .

Pentru toate iubirile toamna...

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You and I

Here we are again! I hoped you got lost in the nothingness of all the days that have passed since we last stood face to face, separated by darkness only. I can feel your breath on my neck and in my mind I am begging you again to let me go.

I feel your shadow surrounding me, your musty scent poisons the air around me.  Like a bad sin, you never stay away for too long. You call it 'love', I call it 'curse'. You think that all this is a game and I enjoy your company. Maybe you're just as confused as I am and mistake my tears for rain and my scream for help with a lullaby.   A deep breath before I turn to face you, your poisons scent inundates every cell in my lungs . I curse the moment I was born and wish I could run to the end of the world and hide in a cage for the rest of my miserable life.

I can see your sharp teeth shining in the candle light while you laugh in my face. Your unkind touch  makes me tremble beyond control. I am stretching my arm in the dark in a clu…


The space between the worlds where I can find myself without looking in the water reflection and getting a glimpse of what I once was and what I long to be.

There are no thoughts just the silence of my own soul.My armour is abandoned at the door I am free of darkness. I shred layer after layer until I walk naked and the ground shivers beneath my feet, the sun kisses all my imperfections and the wind calls my name. I will no longer hide behind the vail of lies. I raise my arms to the sky and I know I am where I belong. If this place would actually exist and have a name I could probably call it 'home'

Here, I allow myself to be. I can be simple, can be nobody and nobody's. I am nobody's child, nobody's lover, nobody's mother.

No longer the exhausted body that strives to look beautiful and thin to please those who can only see.
No longer the smile that shows up every time insecurities surface to impress those who judge.
No longer the laughter that hides a cry to …