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Peretii albii si reci ma inconjoara,tipand parca a durere si neputinta,stiu, lumea e plina de ea, dar aici e un loc aparte, unde cei suferinzi sunt lasati sa vina in vacanta. Mi-a fost teama la inceput sa pasesc aici, nu e usor sa pasesti intr-o camera plina in care tu esti singura persoana capabila sa faca acest lucru, desi numeni nu te priveste cu invidie, dimpotriva esti inconjurant de priviri pline de recunostinta , nu poti sa nu te intrebi ... DE CE?
DE CE, ei ? DE CE, nu eu?

Undeva in lume sunt oamenii care au renuntat sa lupte, cu marea involburata, cu inima zdrobita, cu otrava din privirea altora, cu singuratatea, cu teama... si decid sa-si incheie socotelile cu viata in timp ce altundeva in aceiasi lume sunt oameni care ar da orice pentru a fi capabili sa faca macar un sigur pas, sa poata sa-si incante privirea cu altceva decat cu lumea umbrelor, sa poata spune un ultim 'te iubesc' sau macar un umil 'multumesc' .Eu stau ingenuncheata intre cele doua lumi pe care nu le inteleg suficient si in care sunt inutila ...pentru ca nu e nimic din ceea ce fac eu ce ar putea schimba mersul lucrurilor si e al nabii de frustrant! Ma doare sufletul, ma doare inima, imi plang ochii si ma sufoca durerea neputintei mele!

DE CE nu pot sa dau putin din mine?
DE CE nu pot sa-i fac bine?
DE CE sunt ei acolo si nu eu?

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You and I

Here we are again! I hoped you got lost in the nothingness of all the days that have passed since we last stood face to face, separated by darkness only. I can feel your breath on my neck and in my mind I am begging you again to let me go.

I feel your shadow surrounding me, your musty scent poisons the air around me.  Like a bad sin, you never stay away for too long. You call it 'love', I call it 'curse'. You think that all this is a game and I enjoy your company. Maybe you're just as confused as I am and mistake my tears for rain and my scream for help with a lullaby.   A deep breath before I turn to face you, your poisons scent inundates every cell in my lungs . I curse the moment I was born and wish I could run to the end of the world and hide in a cage for the rest of my miserable life.

I can see your sharp teeth shining in the candle light while you laugh in my face. Your unkind touch  makes me tremble beyond control. I am stretching my arm in the dark in a clu…


The space between the worlds where I can find myself without looking in the water reflection and getting a glimpse of what I once was and what I long to be.

There are no thoughts just the silence of my own soul.My armour is abandoned at the door I am free of darkness. I shred layer after layer until I walk naked and the ground shivers beneath my feet, the sun kisses all my imperfections and the wind calls my name. I will no longer hide behind the vail of lies. I raise my arms to the sky and I know I am where I belong. If this place would actually exist and have a name I could probably call it 'home'

Here, I allow myself to be. I can be simple, can be nobody and nobody's. I am nobody's child, nobody's lover, nobody's mother.

No longer the exhausted body that strives to look beautiful and thin to please those who can only see.
No longer the smile that shows up every time insecurities surface to impress those who judge.
No longer the laughter that hides a cry to …