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Uitare


Se pot spune multe despre uitare, ca e nepasatoare, ca e mereu prea grabita, ca e mereu prezenta sau dimpotriva...nu vine niciodata...
Uneori cel mai frumos cadou pe care ti-l poate face viata e uitarea, sa uiti tot ca si cand nici n-ar fi fost , alteori uitarea iti lasa in gura gustul amar al tradarii pentru ca nimanui nu-i place sa fie uitat . Nu pot sa nu ma intreb de ce nu poate exista o cale de mijloc! Cu toti am vrea sa uitam multe dar in acelasi timp nu ne atrage ideea de a fi uitat.

Au fost zile cand mi-am dorit cu ardoare sa uit crezand ca a fugi si a uita este singura scapare iar dorinta mi s-a implinit, uitarea s-a asternut in jurul meu. E minunat sa traiesti clipa fara ca amintirile sa te bantuie, doar ca mai devreme sau mai tarziu ele se vor intoarce si te vor bantui.

Pana ieri m-a durut uitatea celorlati, i-am acuzat plina de manie si durere , nu puteam sa inteleg de ce cineva si-ar dori sa ma uite apoi am privit in oglinda si am auzit raspunsuri seci venind din toate ungherele intunecate ale sufletului meu. Am tacut rusinata de indraneala mea. Abia atunci am inteles ca ce-a mai findela prietena este iertare si nu uitarea precum am crezut deunazi.

Azi retin ideile, sentimentele si senzatii. De azi nu mai uit, doar iert

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Here we are again! I hoped you got lost in the nothingness of all the days that have passed since we last stood face to face, separated by darkness only. I can feel your breath on my neck and in my mind I am begging you again to let me go.



I feel your shadow surrounding me, your musty scent poisons the air around me.  Like a bad sin, you never stay away for too long. You call it 'love', I call it 'curse'. You think that all this is a game and I enjoy your company. Maybe you're just as confused as I am and mistake my tears for rain and my scream for help with a lullaby.   A deep breath before I turn to face you, your poisons scent inundates every cell in my lungs . I curse the moment I was born and wish I could run to the end of the world and hide in a cage for the rest of my miserable life.



I can see your sharp teeth shining in the candle light while you laugh in my face. Your unkind touch  makes me tremble beyond control. I am stretching my arm in the dark in a clu…

Crave

The space between the worlds where I can find myself without looking in the water reflection and getting a glimpse of what I once was and what I long to be.

There are no thoughts just the silence of my own soul.My armour is abandoned at the door I am free of darkness. I shred layer after layer until I walk naked and the ground shivers beneath my feet, the sun kisses all my imperfections and the wind calls my name. I will no longer hide behind the vail of lies. I raise my arms to the sky and I know I am where I belong. If this place would actually exist and have a name I could probably call it 'home'

Here, I allow myself to be. I can be simple, can be nobody and nobody's. I am nobody's child, nobody's lover, nobody's mother.

No longer the exhausted body that strives to look beautiful and thin to please those who can only see.
No longer the smile that shows up every time insecurities surface to impress those who judge.
No longer the laughter that hides a cry to …