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Recyle bin cosmic

Sunt o visatoare! Visez mereu cu ochii deschisi apoi blestem timpul ca trece prea grabit apoi imi fac mea culpa pentru ca am irosit timp pretios si implicit mi-am irosit viata visand! Tototdata constienta fiind ca mai mereu visele mele au devenit realitate dat sunt totusi confuza!
Am fost binecuvantata ca majoritatea viselor mele sa mi se indeplineasca ( in aceasta clipa daca stau bine sa ma gandesc nu pot sa-mi amintesc o singura dorinta care sa nu mi se fi indeplinit! ) si totusi uneori cand visele mi se indeplineau nu eram suficient de capabila sa le apreciez la adevarata valoare si le ignoram... apoi le lasam suspendate undeva in neant, ma intorceam la ele cand si cand -precum un copil care nu se foloseste de toate jucarioarele lui si totusi e mult prea egoist ca sa le cedeze altcuiva care probabil s-ar bucura mai mult de ele- apoi intr-o buna zi ele au disparut -in vreun imens recycle bin cosmic-si duse au fost! Dupa o vreme am inceput sa simt lipsa jucarioarelor mele, am incercat sa le iau inapoi imposibil....apoi am visat iar si mi le-am dorit si le-am primit inapoi, ma intreb cat timp va trece pana cand se vor pierde iar....

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You and I

Here we are again! I hoped you got lost in the nothingness of all the days that have passed since we last stood face to face, separated by darkness only. I can feel your breath on my neck and in my mind I am begging you again to let me go.

I feel your shadow surrounding me, your musty scent poisons the air around me.  Like a bad sin, you never stay away for too long. You call it 'love', I call it 'curse'. You think that all this is a game and I enjoy your company. Maybe you're just as confused as I am and mistake my tears for rain and my scream for help with a lullaby.   A deep breath before I turn to face you, your poisons scent inundates every cell in my lungs . I curse the moment I was born and wish I could run to the end of the world and hide in a cage for the rest of my miserable life.

I can see your sharp teeth shining in the candle light while you laugh in my face. Your unkind touch  makes me tremble beyond control. I am stretching my arm in the dark in a clu…


The space between the worlds where I can find myself without looking in the water reflection and getting a glimpse of what I once was and what I long to be.

There are no thoughts just the silence of my own soul.My armour is abandoned at the door I am free of darkness. I shred layer after layer until I walk naked and the ground shivers beneath my feet, the sun kisses all my imperfections and the wind calls my name. I will no longer hide behind the vail of lies. I raise my arms to the sky and I know I am where I belong. If this place would actually exist and have a name I could probably call it 'home'

Here, I allow myself to be. I can be simple, can be nobody and nobody's. I am nobody's child, nobody's lover, nobody's mother.

No longer the exhausted body that strives to look beautiful and thin to please those who can only see.
No longer the smile that shows up every time insecurities surface to impress those who judge.
No longer the laughter that hides a cry to …