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Mi-a murit iubirea, demult, doar eu, ca un copil prost ma plimbam cu un trandafir roz in mana prefacandu-ma ca el reprezinata iubirea mea! De ce-a murit? Mii de raspunsuri imi traverseaza scoarta cerebrala dar nici unul nu e demn de mentionat! S-a nascut prea tarziu, a fost sufocata prea devreme si ignorara prea curand!

Tipa de disperare si durere dar, cine mai avea urechi pentru ea, cand erau atat de multe racnete in jur? Nici nu am putere sa plang! Doua lacrimi stinghere au aparut si-au prezentat omagiile si au plecat! Atat! Nimieni altcineva! Ironic, erau atat de multi cei care ii doreau moartea iar azi, cand dorinta li s-a indeplinit ei nici macar nu stiu sa poate sarbatorii!!! Sunt eu, cu ea! Am vrut sa tip, sa plag, sa ma zbat, sa mor si eu! Am intrebat disperata: 'de ce Doamne?Chiar ata de mult te-am suparat? Vrei sa ma pedepsesti?'

Nu stiu de unde vine durerea din sufletul meu, nu stiu nici cat are de gand sa stea, nici unde se va duce! Stiu doar ca nu eram pregatita,poate nu as fi fost niciodata!Imi simt inima batand navalnic, trupul imi tremura lipsit de vlaga, eu ma zabat ca un miel in muta suferinta! Nu a fost doar iubirea mea, nu a fost doar un vis! M-am zbatut! Am luptat, am muscat din durere, doar ca sa te salvez! Se pare ca nu am stiu sa lupt cum ai fi meritat! Te-am pierdut... Te privesc cat de suava esti,ai sa imi lipsesti o vreme, imi va lipsi gingasia, veselia si caldura ta! Azi, acum nu mai pot face nimic oricat de mult as vrea! Cine se naste e dator cu o moarte! La nasterea ta au dansat norii cu soarele, azi la moartea plage luna si stelele! Poate iti va fi mai bine acolo, poate imi va fi mai bine aici...A murit iubirea! Traiasca iubirea!

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You and I

Here we are again! I hoped you got lost in the nothingness of all the days that have passed since we last stood face to face, separated by darkness only. I can feel your breath on my neck and in my mind I am begging you again to let me go.

I feel your shadow surrounding me, your musty scent poisons the air around me.  Like a bad sin, you never stay away for too long. You call it 'love', I call it 'curse'. You think that all this is a game and I enjoy your company. Maybe you're just as confused as I am and mistake my tears for rain and my scream for help with a lullaby.   A deep breath before I turn to face you, your poisons scent inundates every cell in my lungs . I curse the moment I was born and wish I could run to the end of the world and hide in a cage for the rest of my miserable life.

I can see your sharp teeth shining in the candle light while you laugh in my face. Your unkind touch  makes me tremble beyond control. I am stretching my arm in the dark in a clu…


The space between the worlds where I can find myself without looking in the water reflection and getting a glimpse of what I once was and what I long to be.

There are no thoughts just the silence of my own soul.My armour is abandoned at the door I am free of darkness. I shred layer after layer until I walk naked and the ground shivers beneath my feet, the sun kisses all my imperfections and the wind calls my name. I will no longer hide behind the vail of lies. I raise my arms to the sky and I know I am where I belong. If this place would actually exist and have a name I could probably call it 'home'

Here, I allow myself to be. I can be simple, can be nobody and nobody's. I am nobody's child, nobody's lover, nobody's mother.

No longer the exhausted body that strives to look beautiful and thin to please those who can only see.
No longer the smile that shows up every time insecurities surface to impress those who judge.
No longer the laughter that hides a cry to …