Pagini

duminică, 11 ianuarie 2015

marți, 12 august 2014

Silence

All the confessions remained unsaid, all the questions remained unasked, all the answers remained untold, all the feelings that remained unspoken of... All these conversations we never had my love, where have they gone? Did they took their tool on you?
In you absence, I have created - with my magic wand- your clone in my heart and tried to fill the gap with imaginary wonderful conversations. I am old enough to know better by now than to delude myself on empty scenarios but I guess it was just my loneliness talking. Therefore I decided to be lonely no more.

The big words that I never got to tell you, will they keep you warm at night? When silence falls between us I feel left behind deserted, empty and lonely ...All my life I had no choice but to be strong and brave but sometimes might have lost myself on the dark roads but I am here now. The only think I ask of you is not to break my heart. I rather know the the truth, if there's still one in your heart than this soul killing silence.

Don't let your silence do the talking, I said a while ago and you smiled at me surrounding me with more silence.

Most of those important people in my life were in my life either because I had to learn something from them or because they had to learn something from me. At first I smiled and labeled you as ' learner' now I smile and add '/Teacher'


duminică, 10 august 2014

Please don't judge me


There's so much silence surrounding you and I, from now on I shall call it our silence. I loved you until all your hope and amazement got contagious, then I heard your voice and saw your face and all my apathy went down the drain.

Every time I wanted to you to stop, I found myself pulling your hair and whispering in your ear how much I wanted you until I stooped wanting you and started wanting more.

If you wish you can lie to me but, only for as long as I will allow it. I will turn a blind eye and pretend I did not notice or understood your silence. However, no matter how lonely I get or how I feel I could never, under any circumstances lie to myself into believing even for a second that I am more to you than I am.

When we make love, if  love is what we are making, it seems that your body is telling me all the things you can't. I miss you and I can almost taste every time 'I missed you'

 Look at me until the end of time and never ask why as I got a goldfish's memory,remember?

sâmbătă, 9 august 2014

Just because

'just write like no one will ever read'

I am happy .... for all the wrong reasons and smiling for all the right ones. They say that your happiness is a state of mind and you should never depend on other people to make you happy but still,when the wind gets cold and the days grow grey it is the other people and they little kind gestures that make our life worthwhile and meaningful.

I nor my happiness do no depend on anyone but myself and if I ever turn to you and let you see tears in my eyes they must be tears of joy as I never understood the tear apart.

Happiness unlike love can be contagious. I am happy, because you are  !


***

You're my soul's reflection. Those moments when you quietly look into my eyes  I can feel your  thoughts running through my veins, as when you go quiet your thoughts go louder. And I know that you know, that I know.

----

 I am discovering myself , around you.


miercuri, 23 iulie 2014

Wake up!

It's just an illusion, the image I wish to see is not there anymore,the words I seek have vanished as if it they never existed, the piano has stooped playing the obsessive tune  in my head, there's only cold emptiness in all corners of my aching soul. Another disillusion of a weak heart tricked by a master mind. Was it real at least for a moment in time? I touch my face as if  by magic it would reveal the truth denied. I am. I am what I am and there's nothing I can to do about that.

In the morning sun light I believe I'm real but by sun set I doubt everything around me.

- Try and live with yourself, you' re the only thing you got left ! he says smiling in the dark corner of the room, haunting me:  It's just you between the four white empty walls. No one ever comes in and you never go out. They all call you names....'the woman with no windows in her heart'- mainly. Why so stubborn, you will never overcome your limitations. You'll never dance, sing or smile again, get used to it. You have willingly surrendered ! Time cannot be turned back. You cannot reclaim back your wasted years, tears or sweat, maybe just the bad taste of it all. It's all lost and it will never come back, you will need to learn how to accept it. You might not like it, but it is what it is and there's nothing you can do about that.You believe this world was created for you and your little dreams,  you believe you can love but you have no heart! You're just ill!  I will fix you.
There no such thing as real or now nor love, when you will be able to accept that you will be fine!

Now wake up its time to start dreaming.


joi, 30 ianuarie 2014

Sail! AOWLNATION

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPtSKimbjOU

Sail - navigheaza 

Atipic, mi-a ramas aceasta melodie intiparita in mine si am inceput sa o fredonez! Sa fie zgomotul metalic sau poate cuvintele saracacioase? Oricum o iubesc : 

This is how I show my love  ( Asa imi manifest iubirea)
I made it in my mind because ( am inventat totul pentru ca)
I blame it on my A.D.D. baby ( dau vina pe ADD aka THDA - tulburarea hiperkinetica cu deficit de atentie)
This is how an angel dies ( asa moare un inger)
I blame it on my own supply ( doar eu sunt vinovat)
Blame it on my A.D.D. baby ( da vina pe  THDA-ul meu, iubito) 
Sail!
Sail!
Sail!
Sail!
Sail!

Maybe I should cry for help ( poate ar trebuie sa strig dupa ajutor)
Maybe I should kill myself (myself) ( poate ar trebui sa ma omor)
Blame it on my A.D.D. baby ( da vina pe  THDA-ul meu, iubito)

Maybe I'm a different breed ( poate sunt o alta rasa)
Maybe I'm not listening ( poate nu ascult)
So blame it on my A.D.D. baby( da vina pe  THDA-ul meu, iubito)

Sail!
Sail!
Sail!
Sail!
Sail!

La la la la la
La la la la la oh!
La la la la la,
La la la la la oh!
La la la la la,
La la la la la,

Sail!
Sail!
Sail!
Sail!

Sail with me into the dark ( navigheaza cu mine in bezna)
Sail!
Sail with me into the dark
Sail!
Sail with me into the dark
Sail!
Sail with me
Sail!

luni, 30 decembrie 2013

Wondering

-I was afraid you might have died!
-Don't be! We will not die one without the other
-What is that supposed to mean?
-What ever you would like it to mean.